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| What are we teaching our children? |
The other day, one of my children approached me and told me what he wanted for Christmas. I told him that was great, but that I already had the Christmas shopping done. We then entered a phase that, in and of itself, will boggle most people and cause them to question my ability to parent.
I was basically chastised for having completed my shopping before Black Friday and all the "sales" I missed. He tried to use my desire to save money against me. He refused to accept my explanation that I try to shop throughout the year so as to lessen the blow at Christmas time.
At issue was not when I shopped, or how I shopped. His real issue was with "what" I had shopped for. It was not what he wanted, as far as he knew. He had been asked, on several occasions, what he would like for Christmas. Just like when he is asked about his birthday, he gave a complete non-answer. At that point, I shop for what I think is fitting, using my own judgement or analysis of what he "needs". The problem is, my "what" and his "what" are very different, especially when it comes to brand or price.
Let's use an example of clothing. For most boys, jeans are a staple of their wardrobe. I am able to shop for jeans and pay no more than $30 for a comfortable pair, comfort being the most important requirement. He, on the other hand, feels that his jeans must look good but first and foremost, have the proper label on them.
I purchased some jeans for him once that were quite expensive, even on sale, and were those skinny jeans. They looked very uncomfortable and left no room for growth, a point I was sure to make clear. Now, as he attempts to get more "expensive" jeans, his argument is that the others don't fit, even though they are in perfect condition. Acknowledging the fact that the jeans do not fit, I suggest I get him some new ones. The argument starts first with the fact that he doesn't want the kind I want to get him. He wants Brand A which costs twice what I pay for myself. The issue here is that I am the one buying them, not him. I remember my mother getting me the SEARS Toughskin jeans, the kind you could run over barbed wire fencing and not tear. They weren't the most comfortable, but they lasted. I wasn't buying them, so my vote was no good.
This argument about the value of stuff, of certain stuff, of stuff that is considered a right or owed to him is not new in his generation. I read an article a short time ago about how my generation is called Generation X and the one he is in is called Generation Y. As in, Why do I need to work? Why do I need to wear decent clothes? Why do I need religion? Why do I care what others think about me? Their first reaction to everything is "Why?" This generation, more than any in the past, think everything should be given to them and a lot of it. They seem to have no idea that those things that they must have, all cost money...everything comes with a price.
It is no longer OK for the 16-year-old to get a driver's license, he expects a car. And not just any old car, an awesome car, one that is better than what his friends have. It is not enough to have a cell phone, it has to be the latest and greatest smart phone. And when the Grapfruit4 phone comes out to replace the Grapefruit3, he has to have it, even though his current phone is working fine and the new one doesn't do anything new that he needs. Of course, he is not willing or able to do anything to help him get the phone.
Materialism has taken over Generation Y. The more they have, the better it is, the better they feel. It is not just Generation Y. Plenty of Generation Xers are guilty of the same. I just know I am not one, well, at least not to a huge degree, so I think I see it more. I like to have stuff, but I don't need the latest and greatest.
The season already seems to be lost in the desire to receive instead of give. JFK's oft-quoted words, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country" fits during this Christmas season as well as in politics. We have become a society of "What's in it for me?", instead of, "What can I do for you"?
It is sad to think that one of my children has lost sight on gift giving and has become materialistic. Lucky for me, I can't take all the blame. After all, his peers are no different, and some are worse. So for the rest of you Generation Xers out there, keep up the good fight and try to fight off our materialistic society with what our parents taught us.
